Love and dating aren’t complicated. If there is one thing people naturally do, it’s pair up and have sex.
But social conditioning, contrasting expectations, and societal shifts have made dating more contentious. Nonetheless, getting better game is as simple as improving yourself and interacting with more women. Beyond that, these hacks will boost your performance in the sexual arena.
1 – Open-Mindedness
You can usually spot someone with a mediocre sex-life by their constant use of the word ‘should.’
Rather than testing different things and pursuing what works, they are content parroting socially-acceptable truisms. You’ll hear these people say things like, ‘if you act nice, women should like you,’ ‘you should focus on finding a long-term relationship,’ or ‘you shouldn’t talk to strangers because it’s weird.’
Be thankful these people exist. While they are busy playing it safe and following rules, guys who are willing to challenge the norm meet more women and have more sex.
Avoid getting stuck on specific ideas about how things ‘should’ work. Always be willing to push the boundary of what you believe is possible or acceptable.
2 – Non-judgement
Women like sex as much as guys. But they don’t want to be judged for it or feel responsible for making it happen. Unlike men, who are often expected to seek out partners, women are taught that they must be virtuous and chaste. In order for a woman to feel comfortable with you, she needs to be sure that you won’t judge her or ruin her reputation.
3 – Logistics
Having logistics in your favor will make picking-up women massively easier.
If you live far away from where you’re meeting women, two big problems arise. First, it is harder to get women back to your place. Secondly, it’s also harder to motivate yourself to go out.
If you don’t have a place to bring girls back to, you’ll have to make due with cars, hotels, bathrooms, and parks. All of this works – to an extent. But understand that shitty logistics will create a roadblock for sleeping with many girls.
4 – Look good
People who say looks don’t matter are lying or stupid.
I’ll repeat this one more time: looks fucking matter.
The way you outwardly present yourself communicates what type of person you are. Not only does your appearance hint at your social status, but it also communicates your interests.
While you don’t have to fanatically copy the latest fashions, you need to have some style. Depending on the demographic you are going after, you’ll want to choose clothes which fit the part. A look which attracts coked-out party girls won’t help you with professionals, or vice versa,, for example.
Likewise, girls are more attracted to fit guys, period. You don’t need to be jacked with six pack abs. But attributes like shoulder width are highly correlated with attractiveness in males. Exercise also makes you look healthier and boosts testosterone levels. Plus, it will make you feel more confident. If you can’t make it to the gym regularly, get in the habit of doing bodyweight exercises.
5 – Hygiene
Beyond style, being clean important. Everything else being equal, a girl is going to be more aroused by a guy who smells good and has good hygiene. Again, hygiene (or lack thereof) conveys a lot about the type of person you are.
For god’s sake, shave your neck and clean your fingernails. Beyond that, eat less meat. Studies show that men who eat vegetarian diets smell better and are more attractive to women.
6 – Meditation
Meditation has many benefits, including reduced stress and better memory. In terms of dating, meditation helps with two important things. First, it helps you focus on the present. Secondly, it helps you deal with anxiety. These two things, being in the moment and unreactive, are generally attractive.
7 – Talking to Strangers
In order to improve your dating life, you have to meet more women. This isn’t going to happen while you are masking your nervousness by trying to play it cool.
So many guys are afraid to make small talk with strangers. Simply by saying hi or asking an innocuous question, you put yourself ahead of the curve. Likewise, going out with the active intention of meeting women will dramatically increase your number of potential mates.
If you want to meet and attract more women, you will have exit your comfort zone. Will you get rejected? Yes. But if you aren’t willing to get turned down, you don’t deserve to sleep with hot girls.
8 – Eye contact
Strong eye contact is sexy. More importantly, it communicates vital information such as your confidence level and intent.
But eye contact isn’t just some trick you pull out around women. Instead, like posture, unwavering eye contact is a habit you need to develop and use at all times.
The beautiful part about eye contact is it’s completely silent yet says so much. It allows you to express interest in ‘secret,’ unknown to everyone around you besides the girl in question.
9 – Shutting up
Too often, whenever a lull occurs in the conversation, guys rush to fill it. Instead, let silence happen. Wait comfortably for the girl to say something. Allow her to carry her weight. It can make all the difference between seeming try-hard and coming off as confident and sex-worthy.
10 – Touch women
No matter how witty you are, you will never talk a woman into sleeping with you. The reason is clear. Sex is a physical action. In between meeting and fucking, several levels of physical contact have to be traversed.
You should get in the habit of touching women you like. Do this in three ways.
First, touch women to make them comfortable with you.
We’ve all been there: not being sure how to make a move on an attractive girl. This is typically the case when incremental escalation isn’t occurring. It doesn’t merely seem awkward to go for the kiss out of nowhere and without warning. Rather, it is objectively awkward to go from no physical contact to kissing. Therefore, it’s important to start small: touching the arm, light brushes of the hand, touching around the waste, and progressing from there. By starting with ‘friendly touch’ and then moving to ‘romantic touch,’ you give the woman the chance to become familiar with you.
Second, use touch to check her interest level. If you try to touch her and she backs away, she either doesn’t like you or has emotional issues associated with physical intimacy. If she stays in place or reciprocates, she likes you and wants you to continue. In the latter case, you can probably escalate further.
Lastly, use touch to reward behavior you like. If she’s being a bitch, don’t touch her. At best, it will encourage further bitchy behavior. On the other hand, if you are connecting well and she’s acting in ways you like, touch her. This will condition her to act in a similar fashion while creating an association between her positive behavior and your touch.
11 – Stop being overly-sensitive and effeminate
Generally speaking, women want to hook up with strong, confident, take-charge men.
Unfortunately, media tells guys they need to be sensitive, smiling, sweethearts.
In short, in order to attract more women, quit acting like a fag.
Stop talking in a wispy, soft, high-pitched voice. Quit trying to be so non-confrontational. Quit bending over backwards to please everyone around you. Stop thinking that being ‘nice’ entitles you to attention or affection. These are all traits of women and sex-less chumps.
Use a voice that commands attention. Act decisively and according to your own internal compass. Ultimately, learn that no one gives a fuck about you, no one is going to take care of you, and that you and you alone are responsible for meeting your own needs. These are the qualities of an attractive man.
12 – Have a life beyond women or video games
If you spend most of your time doing pick up, no sane woman will feel excited about being part of your life.
Women are primarily attracted to the value you offer them. Therefore, you need to create a lifestyle that is above average and meaningful. She should feel a sense of self-improvement by associating with you.
Have cool hobbies, develop skills and talents, make friends with awesome people in high value social circles. If she can’t brag about the things you do together, your relationship will be short-lived at best.
I realize this list isn’t entirely politically correct.
Often times, in order to soften the edge of offering men advice to get laid, various bloggers (especially in mainstream publications) pepper in socially acceptable nonsense. Being a better person is great and all, but it isn’t going to get girls. In some cases, going out of your way to be less offensive will actually hurt your odds with women.
In future posts, I’ll deal with the most fundamental aspects of attraction, dating, and pick up. The above suggestions are simply quick fixes that you can begin to implement right away.
In the meantime, if you found this content useful, be sure to subscribe, drop a like on facebook, and leave a comment with your best tip for increasing attraction and success with women.